I had off of work from the day before Thanksgiving until have to return to work on Wednesday.  I should have lots of hijinx to talk about but NOTHING…I has it

Oooh…did you ever feel like you were being watched and you glance around quick to make sure that no one hatched out of the closet to stab you repeatedly. Then you laugh a little to yourself, silly silly me for being so paranoid, so then you remove your clothes, step into the shower (don’t jump, I always say jump into the shower which is obviously the best way to break a bone or two). Then as your daydreaming and lathering up you get that sensation again that someone is watching you and you chide yourself for being a big baby. As you turn to grab the shampoo, there with it’s beady little eyes and sticky little legs is the DAMN CENTIPEDE that has been admiring you for the last twenty minutes. Let the screaming and rapid heartbeat commence. Then you JUMP out of the shower casting any idea of safety to the wind becuase this little beast is surely going to pounce on your shoulder and bite the freshly clean yet a little soapy, neck of yours. Then you run naked, panic stricken into your bedroom, throw clothes on, find shoes, who cares about socks, find the keys, toss them in the generel vicinity of the centipede because he is now the proud renter of your apartment, because clearly we both can’t stay in this place together and he clearly wins. You run to your car, speed away, in case his little legs can carry him 40 miles an hour and jump on your bumper and torment you further. Find the closest bar but not close enough to be followed to by one hundred sticky little centipede legs and have a stiff drink.



Posted on: November 21, 2008

Thanks to Violet I am going to let my Freaky Flag fly! I didn’t mean that I felt judged in anyway by the innernets, (since no one reads this drivel) I just feel stifled by my own lack o’ talent. HI! I’m sure I’ll stretch my bloggy legs and get comfy and all will be fine. Thanks Violet for being my first comment!

In other news, I am more excited than usual for this day to be Friday, I was neck deep into a dream when my alarm went off this morning and it actually took me a few minutes to decipher real time from dream time. I finally stumbled off to the shower, and I didn’t drown myself, now I’m anxiously awaiting 3:30 so I can drink some beer, eat some pizza and relax. I rented Wall-E because I’m four. I hope it doesn’t suck as bad as I have heard. Happy Friday!! Drunk post tomorrow! Or maybe even Sunday too!!!!!


Well it’s Sunday and after Friday and Saturday chock full of stunt drinking, I’m currently relaxing on the couch. Suprisingly, I don’t have a hangover, but I’m pretty sure my poor liver has decided to up and move on to a kinder, gentler place to reside. Sorry liver, please come back! Also, I just learned how to add a link in a post because I are smart !!!


Posted on: November 20, 2008

I wasn’t expecting to feel so judged by writing here. I feel like I have to be careful about what I write so I don’t sound stupid or weird or downright cuckoo. Which, tends to suck the life out of any creativity I may have because it is driven soley by my crazy and weird. I love them. Well, I figured I better try to post something, since the last post was a bit ranty and whiny. And I was sick sick sick of looking at it. Maybe I’ll feel less under microscopy later and post a bit more. Till then!!!!


Posted on: November 14, 2008

So I got my ass handed to me yesterday by someone I thought was my friend. I made the unfortunate mistake of sending out an email, which I viewed as satirical in nature. It wasn’t taken like that by one individual. I wasn’t aiming at stepping on anyone’s political toes, but seems to be what I did. OOOPSY. I didn’t want to write about politics here, I’m honestly not that informed. When it comes to Cabinets, and Congress, and all the other political lingo my brain turns to slush, my eyes glaze over and I start looking for my happy place. So when I sent out the “email of death”, I was just passing it along because I didn’t take it serious, I thought it was funny, well written and tongue in cheek. It was meant for a laugh, that is all. This one particular individual, the ass hander, took it to heart apparently. Here is what he wrote:



DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!




Now, mind you, the email said nothing about our President Elect, nor did I mention my political views. I’m okay with Obama. Oh, and I’m not a Redneck. I’m a Midwesterner, it’s WAY worse. J I digress. So I actually felt bad, but I didn’t want to email the ass hander back, I figured that would only perpetuate this already volatile situation. Then he sends out this, let’s dissect it shall we?


I hit reply all when I sent my response. I’m not accusing everyone of sending me this crap.

No he’s just accusing ME.


So XXXX and XXXX relax. You received this message just like I did. I just want to let all who received it, to not send me anymore small minded crap like this. We all have our opinions,

Really? I wasn’t giving my opinion. It was a JOKE.


but when I get all these emails that take up to much space in my mailbox it get’s old and annoying.

XXXX, I don’t agree with you most of the time. I still respect your opinion because unlike some people who send this shit out.

That would be me, the one he doesn’t respect.


I know you know what your talking about.

I obviously don’t know what I’m talking about.


Some people think they are experts because they listen to some jackass on the radio who thinks he knows it all. They then think they are an expert without actually doing any research or real knowledge of the subject.

Um, I lost. I don’t listen to talk radio, where he got this from is beyond me.


I’m not singling anyone out,

Noooo, of course not.


I hit reply all to let you all know I don’t want this crap polluting my inbox. Nothing more, nothing less.


So now I feel bad, but more pissed actually. He’s calling me small minded from one email, which I wasn’t trying to define myself with. I feel misunderstood and a little silly for writing about all of this.


Anyhoo, let’s lighten this up a bit. I was planning on making this funny, but I guess it didn’t turn out that way. I’ve known the person mentioned above for almost 15 years. I never know how to describe him, I’m not actually sure he should even be considered a friend. I remember one time long ago he wanted to kick me out of the bar he owns because I said that Frank Zappa sucked. Him banning me from the bar happened a few years later but he eventually allowed me back in a couple weeks later after I groveled. Everyone jokes that I’m on Triple Secret Probation, and one fuck up and I’m kicked out again. I guess I could describe him as the beer Nazi. “No beer for you!” Oh, the fun. Well, I was going to send out an email with a Christmas tree made from wire and beer cans, but after yesterday’s debacle I wouldn’t want to offend anyone.



Wow, this is a bit harder than I thought. I figure I’ll post from work at lunchtime, since it’s the only privacy I usually have, unless you count Cruella Deville breathing down my neck all day.

How rude! I should probably introduce myself, I’m not sure if I should post my name, I want some level of anonymity. I’ll just start with a list about myself:

1. In my thirties, but emotionally I’m probably about 12. Or 3

2. Lived in the same midwestern town (shut up) my whole life (double shut up).

3. I almost moved away with a guy until I smartened up and since then I’ve been dating and recently got engaged to “the one that got away” twelve years ago. We’ve been dating for 2 years.

4. I may possibly had something to do with his marriage breaking up.

5. But I like to think that it would have happened anyway.

6. I have a job, not a career.

7. I don’t particularly like my job.

8. I currently have 2 brothers, I started with 3.

9. We don’t talk much.

10. The alive ones, not the dead one.

11. Me and the dead one? We talk all the time.

12. Just kidding.

Well, that was more than 10 so I guess that’s why I have a “job” instead of a career, huh?

Until next time.

Shhh….I’ll be back….this is a secret.


Ok, I’m doing this secretly. Is that so naughty? I need a place to vent…and what better way to do it? I doubt anyone will find this remotely interesting, but that’s A-ok with me. If anyone does stumble upon this, please note that I will update my profile soon.


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