Lulue’s

Archive for March 2009

Win

Posted on: March 7, 2009

Well, I was planning on writing about the feeling that one gets when you get publicly humiliated in the comments section of someones blog, and it makes you feel like the uncool kid that tries for acceptance that almost always says something awkward which usually misses the mark and you are once again left on the sidelines, with the other uncool kids, who don’t like you either because you smell or something and…. hmmmm…I’ll leave that for another day. I will say I’ll make sure that I will try to be more cool in the future. Sorry I suck. The. End.

Anyhoo, besides that, I have a story! Which includes a homeless man, early morning and ME. Interesting, no? Well, this all begins about 3 or 4 weeks ago. On the first morning I was leaving for work, I opened the door and this SMELL kicked me right in the face. I thought our neighbors dog was left in the hallway? Or something nearly died then crawled away? Well, the smell was so strong and weird I told the fiance that he should come and behold the stench that was our hallway. He agreed and life went on. This continued on for a couple days, strange stench in the hallway, no known source, wash rinse repeat. A day or two later, I got up for work, as usual, and I heard this loud ass snoring, I was laughing and told the fiance that the neighbor MUST have a cold because this thundering snoring was impossible to believe. So I continued to get ready for work, the snoring kept being annoying, I was running late so the normal goodbyes to the fiance , (love you, no…I love you….KISS), was really more like, FUCK I’m running late! Gimme Kiss! BYE! I opened the door and what did I see? A Homeless Man laying ON the stairs. As I opened the door I must have startled him because he sat up so quick his hood popped up onto his head. I slammed and locked the door and conveyed my displeasure as such: HOMELESS MAN! HALLWAY! MAN IN HALLWAY! For some reason the fiance didn’t get the gist of my clear statement so he was, huh? HOMELESS! HALLWAY! He finally understood, so he opened the door and by that time the bottom door was already closing. (we don’t lock that door, neither does the neighbor, we live in Wisconsin, we are trusting and a little bit stupid, please forgive). The fiance in his very manly and intimidating flannel jammies and slippers procedes down the stairs to see what the fuck was going on. the conversation went like this: Fiance: What are you doing in here? Homeless Man: Waiting for the bus. Fiance: Oh, ok. ME: WHAT THE FUCK! So I still had to go to work, the homeless man ambled off so I walked around the building to my car and then had to scrape ice off of it, all the while, Fiance was standing about 50 feet away watching me, because if the Homeless Man wanted to attack, we was ready to go with his slippers and jammies. Acually, it was sweet that he watched for me. I scraped and scraped as fast as I could with eyes in the back of my head, just waiting to get carjacked by the Homeless Man. So we told the landlord, they gave us a key, the door still stays unlocked at the bottom of the stairs, we do lock our door, but the neighbor doesn’t lock the bottom one even though he comes home after we do. So, last week the neighbor said he called the cops because he caught the Homeless Man in the hallway, I guess until this point he thought we were delusional.  They didn’t catch him. Then on Monday the cops were circling our block with there spotlights, obviously looking for someone. Homeless Man? I can’t be sure, but I am sure that about 30 minutes ago I saw the SAME Homeless Man shuffle by outside. He’s still lurking. I hope he found a different hallway to call home, but if he didn’t I hope he at least keeps the snoring and the body odor down to a minimum. It’s only polite, you should always think of your neighbors. GAH.



  • None
  • lv4921391: any time you feel the need to send jokes...send them to me...like your blogging ...lv
  • lulue: My fiance's parents live in Surprise Arizona, we visited during Thanksgiving 2007. (my first flight and I didn't get arrested or cry! I win) I loved i
  • TJ: Savannah is really nice. I've not spent any serious length of time there, but the area has a really great feel to it. I lived half in PA/half in Atlan

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